Love Confessed Read online

  “Of course, Ethan’s no problem at all. We love having him around. Do you need anything? I can bring you whatever you need before I get the kids…”

  “No thanks, I’m pretty sure I’ve got some cold medicine left. Just going to take that and try to sleep for a while. Call me if you need anything, okay, if you have any problems with Ethan?”

  “We’ll be fine. Let me know if you think of something you need babe. I’ve got Ethan taken care of so don’t worry about anything. Just get some rest and feel better”

  I’m becoming more and more grateful for this man’s generosity every day. I’ve never had somebody, as an adult, take care of me like this so it’s something that I definitely appreciate. Well, something that I’m learning to appreciate. It’s still a little bit foreign. Scott walks me up to make sure I’m okay - as soon as I close the door I start stripping clothes off, grab the cold medicine as I pass the bathroom and curl up in my bed. Right before I fall asleep, when I’m in that pre-incoherent knock out cold medicine sleep phase, my grandma calls.

  “Hey Grams.”

  “Hi Darling, you don’t sound like yourself. Are you alright?” It always amazes me that all I have to say is “hi” and she can tell when I’m off.

  “Not really. I left work sick and just laid down. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing pressing, I’ve just been missing you and Ethan, was thinking a visit was due soon. We can talk about it in the morning though – you go to sleep. Bye dear, I love you.”

  “Bye Grams, love you too.” With that I’m out cold.

  * * *

  I roll over to check the time on my phone, thinking that it’s probably sometime in the wee hours of the morning since the last time I got up to get a drink of water. I jump when I realize that it’s 8:15. How did that happen?!? I can’t remember the last time that I slept that long. I feel so bad, I wanted to tell Ethan goodnight and when I realized I slept through my chance for that, I was sure I’d at least get to tell him good morning. I dial Steve and he picks up on the second ring.

  “Hey. How ya feeling?”

  “Not well, but definitely an improvement from yesterday, thanks. Thanks again for helping out,” I begin before he cuts me off.

  “Stop it, I meant it when I said it wasn’t a problem at all. You’re going to have to start getting used to letting me take care of you. The kids are at school and I was wondering if you wanted me to just take him to Trevor’s birthday party at the arcade after I pick them up?”

  “Oh crap. I totally forgot about that! I didn’t even get a present.”

  “I forgot about it too. The kids just reminded me this morning. I went out on a limb and assumed you wouldn’t be up to going so I went ahead and picked up the videogame that Ethan wanted to get him.”

  “Wow, Steve.” I pause, taking in the moment. This man has done so much for me in the last 24 hours than any other man has my whole life. With the exception of my grandpa, of course. “You’re amazing. Actually, if you’re going anyway and you don’t mind…”

  “Again, I don’t mind at all. I mean, what are boyfriends for? Besides mind blowing orgasms, of course.”

  “Hmmm…you are good at those... On a serious note, I don’t know how to repay you. I’m starting to feel better but still definitely not up for spending an afternoon in an arcade surrounded by six year olds.”

  “Oh I’m sure you’ll think of some way to repay me, and if not, I have a few ideas…”

  Even feeling like shit, the gentle but unmistakable tone of command in his voice gives me that flutter in my belly. The one that goes down below. That warm feeling, exciting feeling I’m getting so used to.

  “Oh I’m sure I can think of a couple of creative ways to make it up to you.”

  “I look forward to it. Now go to bed. I’m hanging up because you need sleep.” To my surprise, he actually does hang up on me. I can’t recall ever smiling quite so stupidly at being hung up on. I take a quick shower, brush my teeth, grab a piece of toast and some tea, and decide to call Scott.

  “Welcome back to the land of the living,” he says by way of greeting.

  “Ha. It’s nice to have returned. I’m still not feeling great though so I’m just going to stay home today if you don’t need me? I emailed Kelly on my way out yesterday and had her clear my schedule just incase I didn’t make it back in.”

  “You know that’s fine. Just stay home tomorrow too, make sure you get all rested up. Let Steve take care of you. You’re as stubborn as a mule so I’m sure it’s not easy but you deserve it. Now I’ve gotta run into a meeting. See you Monday.” And I get hung up on again. I walk to the kitchen to top off my tea before I post up back in bed to watch a sappy romantic comedy when the doorbell rings so I stop and turn to walk down the hall towards the door instead. I’m not expecting anybody and the doorman would have called if there was a visitor they didn’t recognize so I assume it’s a neighbor needing to borrow a cup of sugar or something, but I open the door and am stunned as I am pulled into the loving arms of my Grandmother.

  “Grams! What are you doing here?!”

  “Darling, you sounded terrible. I haven’t heard you that sick since you were younger. Trust me I know how hard it is to take care of a child when you’re ill so I came to help. Now go, lye down. Tell me what you need.” She kisses me on the cheek and walks past me into the apartment; while I’m still standing by the door, too surprised and happy to move. When I finally do get my bearings, I sit down on the couch and start flipping through channels, knowing better than to try to derail her from the execution of her maternal duties. A few minutes later my grandma comes in with my tea.

  “Now what time do you need me to go pick Ethan up? Is it still 3:20?”

  “Actually, you don’t have to. Steve is picking him up and taking him to a birthday party after school.” Without thinking the words come out of my mouth. I am suddenly consciously aware of the fact that I have not mentioned Steve to anyone in my family.

  “Wait, Steve? Who is Steve? Do tell. Wait. Don't tell quite yet. I went ahead and called Emily to let her know I’ll be in town and she should come by but I need to call her and have her pick up some soup for you. You really should grocery shop more often Honey.”

  “Emily’s coming? Now?”

  “Yes, Shh dear. Her phone is ringing.”

  Grams fills Emily in regarding my lack of ability to grocery shop as a responsible adult, then hangs up and I give her the scoop on Steve. I tell her about how we met, sans the scandalous party hookup because well, that would horrify my poor grandmother. So to her it was a kiss but the rest of the story remains the same. Emily came in about halfway through the recap so she’s mainly up to speed too.

  “Wait, so you’re actually serious about this guy?” Emily asks, popping another chip into her mouth.

  “Well it’s new, we just started to get to know each other but it feels good. It feels natural. He’s not just good for me, you should see him with Ethan - they’re great together. His daughter Abby is one of Ethan’s best friends too so it gives us a chance to get to know each other in a way that isn’t awkward at all for the kids. I honestly don’t think they’ve even noticed anything more than that they’re getting more play dates now than they’re used to.” I explain. “It’s basically been perfect,” I continue. “Except when Joseph confessed his undying love to me while I was in London. Then he surprised me and brought Ethan back early. Steve came over when Joseph was still here because we’d had a date planned and it was a little awkward. Well, a lot awkward. Joseph even dropped a couple of comments about trying to move closer but I think I did a pretty good job at pretending not to notice those…”

  “I think that’s probably smart, Leah. I know that Joseph is Ethan’s father and you’ll always be in each other’s life because of that, but I think that after so much time parenting separately it would be really hard to open up enough to do it together. I know you don’t like to talk about it much but I know that Joseph continuing to move home and stay th
ere was a choice that you understood but it hurt you nonetheless…” my grandma says.

  “I know. I understand, because I would have stayed for you guys. So I get why he did what he did. But I just feel like having to learn to do it on my own because he made that choice, well, it would be so much harder to let him, of all people, back in. It took a lot of work to build up enough of a wall to not let his decision hurt me anymore.”

  For the most part, Emily has sat in the recliner across from Grams and is being strangely quiet for her opinionated self. She stops chewing on her lip to chime in now though.

  “Well if I get a say, I like Joseph. He’s handsome as hell - you know you’ll always be attracted to him, at least a little. You guys have such similar experiences as far as how you grew up. He’s Ethan’s dad, and besides, he really cares about you” she says casually before taking another bite.

  “You don’t get a say and I’m sure we’ll always care about each other. We were best friends. We have a son together. I don’t think that means we need to be together” I say, beginning to feel a bit defensive. I’m a little bit put off at the way she is deciding who I should or shouldn’t date so casually.

  “I’m just saying that I think he deserves another chance. You guys have a history you can’t just brush under the rug, Leah. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to just give it another go.” Wow. She’s really starting to upset me.

  “Of course you don’t. You’ve never been in love Emily, you’ve never been left, you’ve never been a single mom. So of course you don’t understand. Why are you so team Joseph all of the sudden?! You hated him when you realized he left me all alone, pregnant.” I ask. I mean, I know he helped her get through Gramps dying too. I know he charmed her just like he’s charmed everybody else he’s ever spoken to but I have no idea where this sudden loyalty to him is coming from.

  “Stop being so dramatic, Leah. I’m not team anybody I just believed him when he said how much he loved you. You could see it in his eyes. He really does. I really think he wishes he had stayed.”

  “Wait. When did he say this? What are you talking about?”

  She looks away for a minute then looks back sheepishly confessing, “We hung out a few times when I was in Europe…”

  “What the fuck, Emily?” I interrupt. “How could you not tell me? Why would you wait till now to tell me he loves me?! Know that’s all I wanted for years.” I’m pretty sure the steam that is coming out of my ears is visible.

  “I know. I know I should have told you…”

  “Yea, you should have.” I want to storm out, but it’s my house. I want to slap her, but I know I can’t do that with Grams here, who is sitting quietly, observing, and finally Emily breaks our little stare down.

  “Well, I have to work at four so I should head out. I’m sorry, sis, I know I should have told you. I just, I just really think you should think about it a little, not just brush it off.”

  Our grandmother walks her to the door, they make plans to brunch together tomorrow, and then grams comes back into the living room on her way to the kitchen to get me more medicine.

  “Leah honey, I understand how you feel,” Grams genuinely sympathizes while refilling my tea. “I also understand why you feel that way. You have every right to be upset. Maybe she didn’t want you to be hurt any more than you already have been. She doesn’t know what your life has been like and I’m sure it wasn't intentional.”

  My grandmother. Always the peacekeeper. I know she’s right, but it still stings. And that’s what I’m thinking about when I take the medicine and pass out again.

  This time, when I wake up, I feel infinitely better. The incoming text I just received has woken me up. It’s from Steve. I think your grandma may be one of my favorite people. She’s awesome.

  I jump off the sofa. What the hell? He’s met my grandma?! I look through the apartment and find her and Ethan doing his homework together in the den. She looks up with a devious smile on her classically beautiful face. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen one on her before and it makes me laugh.

  “Sleep well?” she asks, knowing full well what the frazzled look on my face is for.

  “Mommy, you’re awake! I missed you! Grams and Steve made me and Abby play in here while she cooked dinner. She even let us eat in here while we watched a movie!”

  I shake my head and laugh. “I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you to be so sneaky, grandma.”

  “You’ve been hurt enough, sweet girl, I have to do what I can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Now go get some dinner, I left your plate in the oven. We’re working on homework. Shooo.” Ethan laughs hard at my being scolded so I let them have their fun. It’s nice to have somebody look out for me. Unfortunately though, Grams has to leave early Friday morning because she’s got a charity gala to attend Friday night. On the up side of my day though, I’m feeling better and Ethan doesn’t have any school Friday because it’s a teacher development day. So we play video games, we eat take out, we build Legos - we have an amazing lazy day full of our favorite things to do together. The day flies by, and Joseph video conferences Ethan to tell him goodnight. I swear, the man never sleeps. He said he was working on some big deal that was keeping him up but telling Ethan goodnight at 7:30 our time is 1:30 his time and he’s still in his suit, sitting in his office. After they hang up, I tuck Ethan in, and I plop my tired self back down on the sofa but then my tablet starts ringing because Joseph is trying to video conference again. I contemplate just letting the call go but reluctantly opt to pick up and let him know he’s too late.

  “Hey. He’s asleep. Want me to have him all you back tomorrow?” I say barely looking at the tablet while I scroll through my recorded tv options.

  “Sure, I always like to talk to him but I called tonight to talk to you.” What the hell? That got my attention.

  “Why?”

  He laughs at me, “Don’t sound so excited, kitten. Just wanted to talk to you about the deal I mentioned when you were in town. I wanted to let you know that it’s actually an acquisition of a U.S. telecommunications company, one of our competitors. And, well, it’s in the states. Chicago based, actually. I just wanted to talk to you about it because, if the acquisition is successful, there could be the possibility of me moving while we get the company straightened out. There’s a lot of work to be done. They’ve taken a real dive the last few years so who knows how long I’d get to stay, could be a while.”

  “Hm…I’m not sure why you’re telling me. Maybe you should discuss it with Emily? I hear you two are best friends now…” I love sick me. I’m way better at being mean when I need to be than I am normally. I know I’m being catty but I’m so pissed at both of them that I don’t really care. Joseph looks down and messes with his hair. His gorgeous, sandy blond hair. He’s leaning back in his big leather chair, with his coat draped over the back, his tie loose, and the first two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. Even mad at him, I still have to admit that Emily is right. There’s no way I could ever think that I wouldn’t be attracted to him. He looks back up at me.

  “Okay, I deserved that. I’m sorry. She was in town, we hadn’t seen one another since she was a kid, we just hung out a few times. I helped her make a few friends so she wouldn’t feel alone here.”

  “I’m not sure why neither of you felt the need to tell me. Why she knew you loved me before I did. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’ve been home sick this week, and this conversation is taking more thought than I’m afraid I have to offer right now so I’m going to let you go Joseph.”

  “Leah, I love you.”

  “Goodbye Joseph.”

  * * *

  By the next week, I’m feeling better and so, so excited for this secret Labor Day weekend that Steve has planned! I have no idea where we’re going, or what we’re doing. Only that I should pack for the beach and temperate weather. Also that I should take extra hair ties because my hair may or may not be a giant poof for the greater part of the weeken
d. He’s given nothing away, so the only inference I’ve made is that we’re going somewhere humid. When we get to the airport and head to the gate for the next flight heading to North Carolina, I jump up and throw my arms around his neck. I mentioned once, one time, when we we’re talking about our favorite vacations that my mother’s favorite place to go was North Carolina and we spent a good deal of our childhood vacations there and the fact that he remembered means a lot. I haven’t been here in years and I’m so looking forward to it. It took everything in me to not squeal like I was five years old again.

  “We’re flying into Wilmington and then driving to Bald Head Island. I know it’s not where you were used to going, but my roommate from college has a house there and he’s teaching a work exchange program in Denmark this summer. He said to come up and use the house as often as we want. He has a daughter that’s a year younger than Abby and we spend a lot of time there with Derek and his family.”

  “Steve, I’m so excited! I’ve read about the lighthouse there before. It sounds amazing.”

  “Well good, because I set up a private tour for tomorrow.” This time I do squeal.

  * * *

  The flight is smooth, the rental car company messed up on our reservation and gave us a Tahoe so it’s a spacious, back seat movie filled hour long ride to the most gorgeous beach house I’ve ever seen. It’s a white, antebellum house with a wraparound porch set just behind the dunes, with a clear view of the beach. It’s got a white picket fence with the tall dune grass growing in patches around it. The large wooden deck has lights strung around its edges. The house itself is big and airy, a typical beach house. Big windows. White oversized furnishings. Oversized rugs. Splashes of color in the art and accent pillows. Honestly, it’s heaven on earth. I’m in love with the way that they’ve remodeled and modernized the house, a historical house that has to be nearly a hundred years old, but have managed to completely maintain its integrity.